Parenting is an ongoing effort, and with the new baby around, it can put your relationship with your partner at test. The nine months are as much tiring for the dad-to-be as for the mom; the excitement over the prospect of becoming dad, the nervousness if they will do justice to this new role, and the anxiousness for the wellbeing of both baby and mother, all of these factors keeps the new dad on an edges during the pregnancy. No doubt it’s a relief when you see the bundle of joy and feel blessed to have him but its not all rosy after that too. To be honest, a new phase of life starts when both partners need to work hand in hand to provide a perfect family environment for their baby.
Understanding the nervousness of new dads, and their will to play a role in this new scenario at home and prove their worth, this article is designed to help how they can be helpful for their significant other and how they can create a bond with the baby.
The Need to Create a Bond for Themselves
Being a father is not a small thing that merely happens in your life. It’s a new feeling, new responsibility and new excitement that you have never felt before. It makes you feel special; you probably don’t know till now you can feel that way. It’s your baby, a part of you, such a cute little thing has a special connection with you and no doubt it means a world to you. You need to create a bond with your little one to feel the joy of being a responsible parent. So emotionally you want to be there, taking each new step with your partner.
What Can a New Dad Do?
The answer is a lot. You can do a lot to make it easy and comfortable for your partner. Let’s have a look at how to make yourself more useful and involved.
The most important thing you can do as a dad is to be emotionally involved with your partner at each step and offer your support and love.
Just Be There
The first and foremost, be there for her, both emotionally and physically.
Pregnancy is not only physically tiring, but it can be emotionally taxing for the new mother as well. Especially after the birth, there is too much to deal with, the exhaustion from the long labor, the emotional upheaval of being a new parent, issues relating breastfeeding, and the cherry on the cake can be the postnatal depression due to the hormonal imbalance. The least you can do is to be there emotionally at each step.
What you can do is to make your partner feel special and loved. We understand that all of this is as much confusing for you too as a new parent but invest in your relationship at such a critical time. Tell her you to love her, now more than you have ever loved her. That this new baby has multiplied your love for her, your partner may be feeling low and feel less confident about her looks. Tell her she looks beautiful and motherhood has given her a new glow. And you can’t underestimate the power of these simple words. They mean a lot for the new mother. Your love and attention can give her a new power and confidence to face the challenges.
Encourage Her On Each Step
She needs your encouragement at every step. Being a new mother, she may feel less confident and doubt her abilities. Just keep in mind she is as much anxious to be a good mother as you are to be a good father. Tell her she is doing an amazing job and deserve all the praise for these efforts. Make her feel strong by getting involved in each issue be it a latch problem, a sleepless night, or just handling a crying baby. Discuss it with her, help her reason out things. It will be relaxing to remind her from time to time that she is doing a great job and things won’t be this difficult forever. It’s just a phase, and it will soon pass. And that together both of you can deal with any challenge.
Cook Her Meals
After a tiresome delivery, and also for breastfeeding your little one, your partner needs all the nutrition to regain her energy and to provide your baby with the best. So what you can do is to make sure she is taking care of her diet and cook her some delicious and nutritional food. It will not only reflect your love for her, making her feel special but help her get some energy back. Make sure she is taking proper meals and snacks comprising all the food groups to stay strong for you, the baby, and for herself.
Encourage her to Seek Support
Encourage her to seek support at this critical time. You may not be able to stay at home with her after a week or two, as obviously you need the paychecks too, so make her seek support from wherever she can. Be it a friend, a neighbor, a parent or anyone. Help her arrange a support system so she can get some rest and concentrate on the baby and herself.
Help Her Openly Share Her Feelings
Help her to understand that you are there for her and she can discuss her feelings openly with you. Be understanding even if she is blowing things out of proportion and don’t let her feel she is over thinking. She may be going through prenatal depression. Let her discuss her feelings openly and offer support and encouragement, so she copes with all these emotional turmoil in a better way.
Give Her Some Time for Herself
Be aware of her personal needs too. Help her get some rest while you can spend some time with the baby. If the baby is sleeping, tell her to take a shower and don’t worry about the baby. That you can take care of him even if he wakes up. Make sure to have some time alone with the baby, it will be not only great for your partner, but you can create a special bond with the baby too. Take the baby to the other room while the mommy can get some sleep. Make her go out with a friend or on a walk while you can take care of the baby. A little time out of the maddening routine can relieve her stress and boost her energy.
Spend Time with the Baby
Spending time with baby will give the new mother some time to rest, take a walk, or just have personal time. The things you can do with the baby are.
- Feed the baby
Even if your baby is on breastfeeding, your partner can store the pumped milk, and you can prepare the bottle and give to your little one. It will relieve the new mother of nonstop breastfeeding, and you will get some special moments of being a daddy with your baby. It’s a win-win both ways.
- Give him baths
Though it seems a challenging job at first, once you get the hang of it, this bath time can be some special moments for you and the baby. Not to mention the new mother can get some rest in the meanwhile too. If you feel less confident invest in some bathing tubs or cushions for the sake of safety.
- Change the diapers
O yes, dads can change the diapers as well. It will save the new mother sometimes, and you can feel being useful yourself. Don’t feel shy to ask something if you are not sure or don’t have any idea how to do things at first. It won’t be difficult after two-three times. Tending little needs of your newborn can fill you with special pleasure and create a special bond with your little one.
- Take the baby out for walks
You can take the baby out for walks while the mommy can get some rest. Have some time alone with the baby and breath-in these new feeling of being a responsible daddy.
- Help your partner in soothing a crying baby
Babies can cry for so many reasons, and some babies can cry for no apparent reason at all. If you have a colic baby, then be prepared for long hours with a crying baby. It can be frustrating and too much to tackle for the new mother. Make sure to offer your help whenever you can and help her soothe the crying baby. Take him out, sing a song, rock him to sleep, or anything that works best for your crying baby.
Keep the house in order
You can’t expect a new mother to keep everything in order like before while taking care of a newborn. Make sure to relieve her of household duties for some time and let her concentrate on the new baby. Things you can do at home are:
- Clean the dishes
Make sure no dishes need to be done in the sink.
- Do the laundry
You can keep the laundry basket empty by doing a load of washing and arranging them at their place.
- Take charge of visitors
Take charge of visitors while your partner is busy with the baby. You can write the thank you notes for gifts and wishes of your friend and family. Discuss with your partner and respect her wishes. If she is not comfortable with guest instead of insisting, politely inform the relatives and friends that you can’t attend guest at this time.
- Hire help
If you can afford, hire some help for cleaning the house it can keep the house clean and makes things easy for the new mother.
- Tend other children
If you already have kids, you can take charge of other kids for the time being. Make sure to attend their needs so your partner can concentrate on the new baby with a peaceful mind.
- Pickup takeaways while coming home
You can pick something while coming back from work, or cook the meals.
- Take charge as an admin
Make sure you take over the charge of an admin at home and deal with paying bills, grocery, and other such tasks. The last things your partner needs to be bothered with are utility bills, grocery and other issues like that.
Stay onboard with your overall partner issues
You need not treat your partner as if she is in some kind of isolation. Get her involved with everything that is going around like, cleaning, paying bills, shopping, or even cooking meals. Discuss it all with her even if you are handling all these jobs so that she feels like more productive and part of her household decisions.
Do it all with a good humor
You can take charge of everything and still not be of any help if you are performing all these tasks as being forced. Keep a calm and cool behavior and do all chores with a smile on your face. Keep including humor into your lives and even if there are some issues resolve them reasonably with a calm approach.
Don’t force sex if your partner is not ready
A lot is happening to your partner emotionally and physically so understand if she is not ready for intimacy so soon. Give her time and don’t make her feel bad for it.
Here are some items that we think might help.
The best way you can help your significant other is by understanding what to expect and how to deal with it. The best advice you can find is in this book “the Baby Owner’s Manual.” Written by Dr. Louis Borgenicht, a board-certified pediatrician with the American Academy of Pediatrics. The book deals with all the pertinent questions that new dads may have about having a baby and how to deal with the situations. The book is a beginner’s guide to a newborn baby.
The book contained step-by-step instructions and schematic diagrams for answering questions like how to swaddle a baby? How to make the newborn sleep through the night? Or when to seek for doctor’s advice? The book contained all the issues that new parents, especially dads can confront. There is plenty of material in this book for all those who want to get the basics of childcare. Have a great read and know what is there to know about your baby and his wellbeing. Surely, it is the best way to help your partner and getting more involved in taking care of your baby’s needs.
Here is another great option for the dads who wants everything there is to know about parenting. The book is by Simon & Schuster and deals with all that you need to know in an interesting, funny and catchy way. The book includes illustrations for helping the dads more effectively. The book is written from the perspective of new dads and deal with the issues in a frank and practical way. The book even deals with questions on how to change a baby’s diaper at a packed sports stadium or, how to stay awake at work. The book is packed with helpful diagrams and detailed instructions. It’s a great read that will help you in understanding and playing your role as a new dad.
Nothing can be better for developing a bond with the baby than bathing time. It can take some burden off the mommy’s shoulder, and the pleasure of having the baby all yours at bath is a bonus. But being a new dad, you may be feeling a bit unsure how to handle the wobbly newborn. This baby sink for bath is an excellent option for boosting your confidence and ensuring the safety of your little one. The bath sink is going to stay useful till the end of your baby’s first year so it can be a good investment for the new parents. It features a seat belt for preventing your baby from sliding downwards. A special feature of the seatbelt is its flap design which allows the parents to wash the private parts of the baby but when closed, prevents unexpected urination. The seatbelt’s soft material has a hidden pocket for storing its plastic buckle. This prevents the baby from kneeling on the plastic parts. Its adjustable rear straps make it easy to install and insert into any size of the baby bathtub. You can insert it in your own sink too for convenience. No doubt, it can be very useful for new parents.
Your daily strolls with baby are special moments, and you can make them more comfortable and enjoyable for yourself and the baby. This baby carrier is designed to ensure the safety of the baby and your comfort as well. The carrier is safe for positioning your baby and is acknowledged as Hip Healthy by the International Hip Dysplasia Institute.
The baby carrier includes everything that you would need in a carrier. You get six ways to carry the baby. With the headrest option, you don’t need to worry about the baby’s head. The carrier can be utilized by both mommy and daddy; whoever wants a date out with the baby. Its padded shoulder straps make it easy to wear and carry. The baby carrier offers superior comfort thanks to its lumbar support. It’s a great investment that can be useful for both parents.
If you want to have some feeding time with the baby, then choose this bottle for minimizing the feeding issues. Its bottom vent technology channels air in the back of the bottle, not through the bottle for keeping colic at bay. Its ergonomic design gives a better grip for upright feeding to help prevent reflux. The bottle is free of BPA, PVC, and Phthalate that can harm your baby. Its nipple has raised texture and natural wide shape for preventing any nipple confusion to the baby and for easy transition between breast and bottle. The nipple comes in slow, medium, and fast flow for catering your needs of a growing baby.
A great way to soothe your crying baby is investing in some baby swing for rocking him to sleep and keeping him entertained. The stylish baby swing sways from side to side and bounces up and down for comforting your crying baby. It can adjust to any seat position for the maximum comfort of your baby and can even be set to full recline position for a sleeping baby. The advance swing can be controlled by your smartphone. Now you can control motion and sound from your compatible device. The swing features five unique motions and speed and four built-in sound and MP3 plugins for your convenience. The swing comes with interactive and colorful toys for keeping your baby engaged. It comes with a mirror, rattle, and a crinkle ball for your baby’s entertainment.
In the end, it’s a special time for your family, and you can do a lot to make it easy and comfortable being a new daddy. Make her feel you both are a team and together you will both do what best you can for your baby. Don’t forget to reach out to your partner for emotional support too as it can be as tiring for you as for her at times. Keep your relationship strong with open discussions and sharing your feelings. Don’t forget to enjoy your moments with your little one and feel the pride of being a daddy. Trust your abilities and don’t feel shy to ask for help when you are not sure. Just stay strong for your partner, baby, and your family and make sure you both come out of it with a stronger bond.